Nasselus and others, how do you write behavior scripts?

Greetings Stardockians! 

There is lots of talk about the ai in our Game. Lots of talk about the ai in GCII and how awesome it was. Frogboy posted many times that he spent LOTS and LOTS of hour writing specific scripts to account for the behavior in GCII. I have also know that several of our vet modders have said that what we need more more scripts that dictate how the ai responds to various things. To that end I would really like to be taught how to do this. I have my knowledge in Plants and Trees  and went to school for it. I have zero coding knowledge or even code speak. I am however more than willing to learn. 

Here are somethings I want the ai to do and I will be happy to write MILLIONS of lines of code/script to attempt it to do it. ..

• When the ai meets you he will check your ships he can see and begin to build ships to counter what you do. 
• The ai will build ships with TWO weapons and TWO or THREE defenses. The choice of weapons is weighted based on race but at no time will the weights cause the ai to build ships detrimental to in vrs the player. 
• I want to code in snarky >>  see my many previous posts on how to get the ai to say stuff from GCII. 
• I want to write more diplomacy exchanges, ones that ask the player to go to war with another ai while giving up a star base or tech.
• Id like the ai to evaluate the player both for war and for diplomacy. Does the ai need to bully the player or approach the player as an equal and ask to 'work together'?
• If the ai decides it is opposed to the player I want the ai to enlist other ai to 'gang up' on the player until the player cedes planets/ships or tech/cash to end the war. 
• I want a minimum time of 20 turns before you can ask for peace  once a DOW is given.